Daycare Doggerel

Little Jack Kroner fondled his boner,
Aiming it at his eye:
He gazed at the veins, and tattoos of trains,
And screamed, "Holy crap, am I high!"

Hey diddy diddy,
The welcoming committee
Is singing a terrible song.
My stomach flip flops with each nasty note
Covering Wang Chung is just wrong.

Bucky Sucky, butter and lard,
Killed a goat in your front yard
When the cops came by to see,
Bucky Sucky danced with glee

One, two, maggot shampoo
Three, four, rotten bait store
Five, six, eat some ticks
Seven, eight, masticate
Nine, ten, it's raining men

Old Queen Clench was a dirty old wench
    And a dirty old wench was she;
She called for her trick, and she called for her meth
    And she called for her lubricants three.

Each and every lubricant had a flavor
    Yes, a fine fruit flavor like--One, two, Spree!
Yet there's none so poor that they're dyin' to score
    With Old Queen Clench and her lubricants three.

The sleazy greasy hippie went out to hug a tree.
Down came the cops, and clocked him in the knee.
Out came the Tasers, it's play time for the cops.
And the sleazy greasy hippie falls down and kind of flops.

Ding a dong dong,
Three dudes with a bong,
And what do you think they'll eat?
Some nachos, granola,
Some cheese from Angola.
So says the bro on the street!

Little Miss Doylette
Sat on the toilet,
Drinking some booze in a rush.
Inside came the cleaner,
His hands on his wiener
And just then Miss Doylette, she flushed.

Little Bo Vanity's lost her sanity
And gone completely crazy.
Leave her alone, Put her in a home,
She thinks we're all Patrick Swayze.

Jack be crazy,
Jack be fat,
Jack do drugs by the laundromat.

Jack huffs paint,
Jack sniffs glue,
Jack does drugs that we outgrew.